~Verbal Diarrhea~

So, the blog is up!

It's not perfect, and I have some tweaks to do, but the first two blog posts are published. The posting schedule looks like:
Main/big post every Monday.
'Tips' post on a Wed/Thurs
Link roundup on a Saturday (Weekend Reading)

The two posts that are up are:

How I finally fixed my sleep issues (for once and for all)

Three Fundamental Life Skills

I feel excited, but also sort of overwhelmed... blogging has changed SO MUCH since I last did 'serious' blogging. 

So, I organised to go and see my friend who lives in a town in Suffolk this weekend. In lieu with 'try and use alternative transport' and 'I don't really want to drive in the dark on Friday night' I looked up trains and buses and what have you.

And basically, it's shit. There's a relatively straightforward train journey there on Friday, but to come back on Sunday I have to take a train, a bus, a tube, and another train.

To get a coach on Sunday would mean a journey that would take SIX HOURS as opposed to 2 hours 15 minutes by car. (And that six hours doesn't even include the travel to/from the coach stop).

And the cost of this? At least twice as much as the petrol would cost to go by car!!

So! I totally have money to burn occasionally spend on frivolous things. Like shoes! And clothes!

So I am going to buy these shoes with my next paycheque -- assuming my size comes back into stock anyway D: They are so prettyyyy!

I also desperately want to buy this dress, but it is way too expensive. And I would never have occasion to wear it. But it is so beautiful.

I want to buy myself a new top, as well. But I haven't found the right one. I used to have this lovely silk top with a belt that I LOVED. But it finally went at the seam, and I had to get rid of it :'( Haven't found anything I like as much yet...

I am consistently amazed at the number of people willing to let me live with them.

So many good friends xx

Officially back in the UK. Off to a housesitting gig on Friday. Lovely little farm out in the country.... with wood fires and an aga :P Haha, we'll see how well I cope.

LJ is crashing my computer o.o

Someone rec me some Loki fic. Or good Sif fic. I'm not fussy.

I'm on a train tomorrow. Need something to read.

I'm running off my phone (and have all images turned off in my browser). So if I'm quiet or uncommunicative... please don't de-friend me! :( I promise I'll be back to 'normal' once I get my internetz back.

I don't know how to live without it. I can't even watch TV!!

There is a tuneless buzzing in my head.

It is the sound of sunlight on water, fractured fire-red and white. A shattered mirror that shows the world burning and the peace that settles me when I see it. Listen to the hollow space in your soul, because this is where language empties out and all the meaning is strung like glass beads.

Ready to spill.

But when they spill, across the page, through the air, flying like bullets, like kisses, like black feathers, curling ink, milk in coffee. When they spill, somehow they smash, dull, crease, flatten out. Meaning shimmers away and you are left with a mess, a blood-stained, mascara-smeared, mundane little tragedy. 

And I bounce back to the mirror, back to the tuneless buzzing and slash my hands through the waves. Words flash, silver fish, darting in beauty but the shape is smeared by the water. And I look, and I look, and I look while my hands paw uselessly. They dart up to the sun and the bodies blacken and burn.

Meaning is but a moment, a slash, a flash, a seeping. Happy tears, the cool, clear, frozen grief that smears and fractures the world until for a moment, a moment, you see it as it truly is.

And I want, I want, I want to share this second, this moment, this endless timeless flash of a second, so you feel my heart and share my soul and for a moment we are the world and the world is us and all things are as they should be. 

But as I reach out, as I open my mouth, as the words dart into song, into light, into ink, into a fixed lasso with nothing more than a definition, a history, a culture, a context, a rhythm, a cadence, an accent. These words dart towards you and I watch them change, mid-flight, colours glow, fade, edges stream away, I see your history, your culture, your context, your voice, your ear catch them and they hold nothing but a faint memory.

I repeat and repeat and I list and I list in a bid to catch the meaning, the moment, the clear cool fractured mirror of my fire-soul. But here I am I am and meaning collapses down and instead I must find the simplest way, the clearest way, the single word that sums it up that carries it all, the hydra-headed word, the songword, the word of truth, of light, of God. But it is done and done and all the dictionaries in the world cannot give us our shared language, our shared soul.
 

I make these every year, but this year I'm feeling pretty positive aboutt them :) I am getting better each year at keeping them too. I managed the 'get up at 6am' one for over six months, and the 'workout every day' one I blew out of the water.

Anyhoo.


Priorities for this year are HEALTH and MONEY

HEALTH

1. Workout every day, and focus on results.

Karate twice a week.
Running
Weight-training/body-weight workouts
Swimming

2. Eat a healthy diet

Take vitamin supplements
Eat 7 portions of fruit and veg a day
Cut down on sugar; do not eat it day to day, only when friends are visiting or I am socialising.

3. Get more quality sleep

Get in bed at 9pm every night and read until I fall asleep.
Wake up at 5.30am every day and do a 30 minute stretch workout
Get a sunrise alarm clock
Switch off all electronics at 9pm every night.
Do not drink caffeine after 4pm.


MONEY (goals in order)

1. Pay off all non-student loan debt
2. Save up a £1000 emergency fund
3. Start saving for retirement and a house deposit

You can sit down with a hundred ideas and have them dry up into useless dust the second you try and write them down. And other times you can load up your story with the intention of doing a few bits of editing and tweaking and next thing you know you have 11 new pages.